Searching for my Mr D

Five months ago i decided that this year was going to be all about ME. I was grabbing the reigns with both manicured hands and steering myself in the direction of rainbows, a lottery win, a washboard stomach, fluffy clouds, my Mr Darcy and designer handbags!!

All this was coming my way because i had read 'The Secret' and we all know if we follow what that book says its bound to happen - right?!
I was willing to throw gallons of positivity and good vibes into the atmosphere so that wonderful things would come catapulting back my way like a boomerang.
However looking back on the five months just passed, the only thing i've managing to steer myself into is my local Mulberry store!!

Nevertheless, having moved to London i thought to myself - how hard can it be to meet guys, there are millions of them.... Well let me tell you a thing or two about London dating........

With high hopes and a little bit of anticipation i grabbed my laptop and googled a highly marketed and (what im lead to believe) successful dating website.
I spent hours writing and deleting the 'bit about yourself' section. Im sure i nearly drank myself into a white wine induced coma trying to get creative!!
The pressure of trying to make yourself sound exciting and different (in a good way) is no mean feat!
It literally took me hours to get it to a level of what i thought was (drunk) perfection. THEN i had to choose a picture - Jesus Christ!!
Eventually my profile went live, i stumbled into bed with my laptop and lay there hitting refresh every few minutes waiting for my inbox to become brimming full until i passed out in my fuzzy state........
To be continued...........

Today is a new day....

Today i woke up and blogging was the first thing on my mind. Who knows i may be the next Carrie Bradshaw minus the tiny waist measurements and the extensive shoes collection..... Im all about the bags!

Todays topic is: "The Diet"

This is a very boring subject for the Eat to Live people, but for the Live to Eat i think you can relate.....

At the beginning of this year i decided enough was enough. Id had it with trying to squeeze myself into dress sizes that were clearly to small and existing in elastic waist bands because i refused to buy the next size up and admit id turned into a baby elephant!

Id had enough of the chaffing thighs and feeling like i had been blown up with a bicycle pump.

I was through with looking down and not remembering the last time id managed to see my lady parts without having to crane my neck or lift up various tyres of skin...

I was fed up of not seeing any recent pictures of myself because i refused to get my picture taken, living in the fear of having to SEE the damage that had been done.

I was exhausted with the fact i couldn't walk up 4 flights of stairs without thinking my heart was going to explode out of my chest while wiping the pools of sweat from my brow.

I was done with my family commenting on how much weight id put on (cause family dont hold back) and the looks given by friends when you know in their head they are thinking "god she has let herself go"

Most of all i was OVER with feeling like the most unattractive/unsexy person on the planet.

Anyway i donned upon the dreaded abstinence diet for possibly the 4th time in my lifetime.........
Im an all or nothing kind of girl!!
I managed to abstain for the good part of 11 weeks and dropped and impressive 3stone 7lbs.
However still with a couple of stone to loose ive kind of fallen off the bandwagon.......
Every day im getting back onto it but i f**k it up and have a binge, then i tell myself im really going to start tomorrow. Ive been having this cycle with myself  for about 6 weeks.......
So anyway im hopeful that today is the day and i will be successful and get this last 2 stone off in the next few weeks.
If i can be good 95% of the time i may be onto a winner :)